Sunday 2 June 2013

In my Defence!


I have already written an entry on people calling me selfish but it was too emo and too not my types of an article to post. So I am writing another. Selfish part 2. Because I am still not satisfied.

I have heard randomly and sometimes they call for teasing me and you know, I hear it a lot. Like a lot. I ask them reasons; they give the typical line, “kaam k waqt yaad aati hai tujhe bas!”  I tell to elaborate and then they side it away saying “bas hai tu selfish.”  Not one not two, there are many; and I know it’s not a good count. But I have stopped giving a damn of what random people think about me. I mean I am me and I have never hurt you or took advantage of you or your situation. I never had bad intentions neither did anything in a mockery way. I needed you and you needed me, we are not two people who gel well together, but we are friends with benefits. And there is nothing wrong unless one starts to create in another’s *heart* false expectations; which for me is a bigger crime.Because that breaks one emotionally, changes one’s self, creates mistrust for people forever. On the other hand, being me just let you think I am selfish; nothing more nothing less.  You overlook the thin line between being selfish and over practical. I know I am not always correct but I like to keep distance because somewhere someone played the same trick with me and I got hurt; Very indeed. 

Yes I don’t call coz’ I was never a phone person except with 2 -3 who make sure they call me coz' they know I don’t. I don’t chit chat and I cant make that fake laugh nor can I come with random stupid topics or make a plan on phone that’s never going to happen; because I am not that person either. I am not interested in your silly life crap, I mean I was in those initial teenage years; right now I find it too kidish and boring to digest and would like to tell you to shut up and grow up! Hence I generally hang up and talk only when work. It’s not that Friends don’t play an important role in my life; I call myself a friend’s person. Fortunately god has given me some beautiful my kinds with whom I do talk for hours, with whom I share and discuss life crap.

We are at an age where we need to think beyond Friendship; where silly gossips and silly expectations shouldn't bother you and be a reason for your bad mood. We are at this age where being practical is not being selfish; where you don’t have to cry because she/ he doesn't make you feel needed. If they are your people they will always be your people.So stop trying being friends.Stop crying. Stop making comments. Stop right now.


Over practical,
But not so selfish,
Pakhi