Tuesday 25 March 2014

Head V/s Heart


Palmistry. Do you believe in it? Do you really think our fate is nothing but all those crisscross lines? Well I am not a complete believer,  although coincidences neither let me ignore it altogether. I am sort of in between like I am in most of such cases. God or no God? Ghosts or is it just our fear? Aliens or the USAs imagination? and you know such cases. I do believe in Science. And I have a slight hope someday Science and God will reconcile.
 
Anyway, that was not what I wanted to talk about. When I started with palmistry, it wasn't just an attempt for a good start, I have something to share on a particular nature of mine. May be you too are a victim, read on. My body tends to mix heart matters with brain and brain with heart. If you study my hand, you will find that my lines of head and heart run together (called the simian line in scientific terms). Coincidence? Well I hope it be that only, my life line is real short otherwise!

I feel she is in pain, she needs a little massage but I am not the first one to say, "mumma, shall I?" She will ask and I will do. Although I felt it, that's where the heart came into play, like it should ; But I never asked her first. Brain sends me these messages, "Pakhi  c'mon it will be such an emotional moment, she'll utter some sweet words, it's going to be so weird. Keep quiet do when she asks" and shuts me up!
I feel terrible when my close ones cry, but nope I am not a hugging-wrapping you around my arms person. Brain always reasons, sends no signals to my mouth and gets me tight lipped. On the other hand it rests when I undergo all those senseless mood swings.
Career matters where brain should have been in complete isolation, heart had to budge in. Class 12th when I should have forgotten the world (besides the JEE material) existed, that was the period my heart was the most active, believe me! I felt low for I was putting on, I felt sad I was single, I started questioning my own choice of opting engineering, I started searching for other hobbies, I suddenly started believing in making a career in what you love, money will follow in which was exactly opposite to my earlier mantra of earning first and you will get a ticket to all your fantasies.  
Emotionally, Mentally, Physically as if an invisible shield exists. You try to cross it and you shall be forgotten forever. I like you, you like me; but then there is a limit. How Chandler would never enter serious relationships; how commitment was such a big deal for him. I do want to cross the line and want you to step in too but this heart and head  game gives me a painful ride instead. How true was my father when he would remark, your hobbies are just a fling ( and so are certain people in my life, head would add).  

I do want to change but can I ? I want to be a part of those tender moments wholeheartedly. I don't want to end up saying had I given 100 % in the examination...  Can that happen? C'mon I want my partner to be happy with me! I don't want my head and heart to question each other's deeds! But do my hands permit it? Because to my surprise this is what I came across on the internet which if you know me, describes the very me! And yes as I claim I am a rare case.

"The simian line may be visualized as an agent responsible for sudden and radical adjustments in an individual’s attitudes, behavior, lifestyle, values, goals, ambitions, and identity. Similarly, these radical adjustments may manifest in the form of new careers, oftentimes in areas these people never before considered. The individual, in this instance, may renounce a sound, secure, and long-standing career to devote him or herself to a lifestyle which may be virtually a planet apart from anything they previously considered pursuing. Leaving everything familiar behind them, these people may feel compelled to fit themselves into their new skins, as it were."

As of now I can be thankful to Photography which coordinates both the powerful organs. Gives me satisfaction and a sense of serenity. It's something I enjoy and it's something my psyche isn't worried about. Indeed it's the thing the two agree upon quite peacefully. Tried and tested for past 3 years and hence announcing it loud. Father wouldn't have got me such expensive accessories had it been just another heart attack. Since I can see my career taking shape, I don't worry it much as I do of my future partner. God bless the poor soul. 

Pakhi