Thursday 21 January 2016

Dil se. Dilli se.

It's Delhi and I am here for a wedding shoot. I came a day early to take out some me time. I wanted to buy clothes from my ever favourite Janpat street. I wanted to roam on the clean streets where I know my shoes aren't getting dirty. I wanted to see the pretty Delhi faces covered in the best of fashion. A day away from home, from my room, from family, from anybody who knows me, lost in the city where no one is aware of my existence. In the evening I plan to meet my sister at whose place I am staying and have a heart to heart conversation on the game of hearts. As I got off the plane today, the air around me felt a little different. I was dressed up in red coat  and black denim and sneakers mom and dad got from Mauritius. There is something about shoes; the better they fit you, the more confident you feel. This pair and the one I got from Singapore makes me fly. So yes, I was literally and metaphorically both flying. Camera bag on my shoulder, right hand trolling the suitcase on which my blue madame handbag was perfectly balanced and the other one holding the phone calling for ola; heart praying for the 3G to work. Meanwhile stomach was feeling hungry and body tired for not getting proper sleep. To make my self look more stuffed than I already was I got myself a cappuccino and veg cheese sandwich packed in brown paper bag. I sat behind the driver, gave him the directions, ear phones plugged in, I talked to my bff and had my little brunch. The network was pissing both of us so we decided to talk another time. And that moment I realised its been long I had music to listen to and the daily people like the cab driver to talk to; I had the window scenes to observe and conversations to overhear. My heart is definitely craving for another solo trip, for a part of me will never stop seeking for new.

I reached my cousins place, changed into suitable clothing for street shopping coz' Delhi wasn't as cold as it was supposed to be, decided to not take rest, coffee had already taken away my sleep for few hours and caught a metro to Janpath. Earphones plugged, this time for some peppy songs, I bargained with the shopkeepers, gave them a delhite look and after an hour of shopping all my money was theirs. I was humming to myself when a lady smiled at me, I smiled back and pointed my earphones. On my way back in metro to Gurgaon, I was fascinated by the woman who rightfully asked for water in the crowd. One could have called her mannerless when she returned the bottle to my neighbour without a thank you. A minute later though she did mumble a thanks, but again in the same tone that didn't reflect any sort of gratitude the word demands. Rude, people around must have misjudged. Although if someone would have observed her as closely as me, she was the most simple and naive hearted lady I had come across all day. My eyes shifted to another girl who had taken support of the wall as she sat crossed leg on the floor with MRI report in her hand. Her face dull and eyes that lacked a spark in them. To my other side sat a brother sister duo with their pretty eyes mom. It could have been a perfect mom-kids situation till I saw a huge bump on the little ones head. I prayed to God and now was looking straight at the two girls, who strangers at first for one another had suddenly started with a conversation mentioning something about Jealous 21. I smiled to myself and wished sincerely to go out of bounds once again. To read the different faces. To exchange stories with different people in varied backdrops and different situations. Ignoring the auto rickshaws on my way, I walked down to my cousins flat with a constant smile on face.

How much I love this sort of independent girl image. How much I enjoy doing it on my own. But how much will I love to do this all with him, I wonder. May be more. He will be pissed and amazed both at the the silly things I do and I would love to see the expression changes on his face. I will make him embarrassed and proud, I will be soft and loud, I know I will be happy with him. And I will be the happiest if I know he genuinely loves me at the end of it all. And I know he will, I know he does. Why everything has to be about him now? Why everything has to end with him in the picture? May be because everything we do, we do it to be loved a little more, isn't it? To love ourselves more and to find that one person who will love us the way we are and the way we wish to? Living independent knowing at the end you have that one person to lean on to was my today. As I reached home I undressed, wore my pajamas, got into the quilt and called him to make me sleep on the phone. I enjoyed today independent and dependent...