Right side of my head is aching badly. I have been trying to sleep for past two hours but can't. Times when I feel, I really need to start meditating. There is so much happening in my life and I have a feeling that I might just burst out. I have literally forgotten how to live at a slow pace. Number of inquiries have shot up, Paridhi Jain photography is becoming a brand and people want the shoots to be done by it, I face little or no requests for a bargain now and that is itself a mark of success. I am happy about it all. My next plan of action is to hire people coz else I will be a limited affair. I feel proud of my tiny self to be spreading my name in different parts of the country. I know I just got lucky when I got to go to Malaysia to cover a South Indian wedding. I know I just got lucky when I was called to Bangalore to cover a family based out of Chicago. It has been a slow and gradual progress;but it is a step ahead and I cannot hide the excitement to climb rest of the staircase. Traveling to Bangalore and getting to know a firangi family, actually two firangi families was all worth it. Not having turned professional even after three years is what I thank my upbringing for. I still feel bad when I am not able to take up a project or do someone's work. It still hurts when some shoots don't turn out to be as planned. And compliments still make my heart smile.
Didi and me together are putting up an exhibition this fourth of July and literally just six days are left before the big event. I haven't done anything concrete yet and hence the head ache, I guess. I am thrilled also since this will my first photo exhibit too. I hope we two sisters set a name for ourselves after that. She is going to sell out her line of baby carriers. This mom entrepreneur is one of my favourite persons to be with. I adore her for being such a big hearted girl. Her love for her close ones is clearly visible by her actions and it's cute. I love her crazy and I feel so happy for her. We threw mom dads surprise 30th anniversary party at her place too last 18th and it was a big hit. I was living with her to take a break from my home and from the few responsibilities I had back there; and well to be honest, to meet my friends at any time of the day or night without having to lie it to parents and as a result the party idea clicked.
You know all this is fine. I chose what to do, sometimes I get things easily while other times I have to fight for them. It's all okay. Tough or not, I manage to get it. I am not saying this to self boost but I just want to spread that if you think you can, then start working on a plan. Start small, big will come to you sooner or later. People say, I have a chilled out family, my lifestyle is different than the rest. Like yours even they made me do engineering only. They had told me they would prefer me joining job or higher studies rather than photography which they told i can keep as a side profession. But I reasoned out. I don't agree that what parents do or say is always 100 percent correct. Sometimes their decisions for their children are out of love and fear and safety. Why will any parent like his child to take a risk? They are humans along with being parents and they care for their close ones and sometimes blindly. Yes agreed that my lifestyle is different but who made it different? See I am not blaming you or your parents. I am just reasoning out here. Generally, the child ends up in an argument with parents instead of a discussion. It's a crying and screaming heated up argument for a day or two, after which things are back to normal. It was easy for the parent to influence the child because he had come with no plan but just an idea while the parent's plan for him was in their mind since the day he was born, obviously they win. I may be too small or immature to put this theory but I see it this way. Mom and dad can be wrong too. Please don't waste your twenties. If your plan is risky, always have a backup. But don't you give up or give in your life in someone else's hand. Also, don't you dare cry later for the 'what if...' situation. What if you had chosen to do this, what if you had planned it that way, what if you had accepted that offer,what if you had taken the flight, what if...! Stop considering yourself or others as lucky or unlucky. That's like you just don't give credit to his or her hard work. Handle your life wisely. Listen to your parents, your teachers, your seniors, your inspirations, your friends. Take notes, self-argue, write pros cons, reason and take a decision. Also, keep away from negative thoughts and negative people while you are at your delicate stage in life.
Stop feeling guilty once you take your life in your hands. Balance out time with friends and family but stop feeling ashamed because you weren't able to give them time last evening. Yes they gave birth to us, gave us a beautiful childhood but we don't owe our lives to them. If you were not spending time with them for past many days then do it right away but just because they don't like you going out daily irrespective of the fact that you are doing no wrong and that it gives your mind a little peace, don't stop doing what you love. At twenties you are big enough. Let them know, mom dad after day and night of working, a cup of coffee with a girl-friend or guys give you happiness. Let them know you are there for them whenever they need you and not because it's wrong to stay outside or watch movies late night because that's the only time you are free.
Be strong and positive and confident. Don't be afraid to be you. Don't be afraid to live your life your way. We all are different and no one, not even our parents can take the final steps. Don't be afraid to be.
